Flowers for Algernon

Recently a friend who's been with me since the beggining of my weight loss expressed surprise that I'd been able to keep the weight off for so long. While I've had my ups, downs and serious plateus, I told him I simply decided that once the weight was off, that I was never going to go back.

You see, I've been down the hard road of post-diet weight gain before. I'm often reminded of a short story called Flowers for Algernon, where a mentally disabled man is miraculously transformed into a genius by an experimental procedure. He spends a brief period of time as a mental giant before he's forced to watch in horror as his mental acuity fades back to pre-operation levels. It's a pretty dark story, not one for rainy days.

I've had my own parallel experience. Several years ago, frustrated with my weight and fed up with a life of obesity, I started a meal replacement diet. The plan featured prepackaged meals, which would be augmented with a very strict list of foods. Every month I'd select my menu and recieve a box in the mail.

I was fabulously successful, losing 60 pounds in the course of 8 months or so. At last I was approaching a normal weight. Clothes started to fit, sports became easier, and I finally started to get the attention of a few women around campus (a very big deal for a man of 21). It was as if every day was a dream. I only had to give up eating out with my friends, cooking and drinking (a very big deal for a man of 21). One day I got the bright idea that I didn't need the program anymore. That was the beginning of the end...

It was a total disaster. I was completely incapable of estimating nutritional content or portion size. I had developed no discipline, learned nothing about feeding myself proper foods. All I knew was that without the purple boxes of food, I was doomed. Slowly the weight crept back on. Clothes that I'd just bought started to get tight, then stopped fitting completely. Frustrated, I refused to buy new clothes until I couldn't zip up my pants any longer and my shirts were embarrasingly tight.

There's a familiar Weight Watchers saying,"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." That's certainly true, but I've learned a much darker lesson that nothing can match the horror of finally losing a lifetime of fat, only to gain it all back and more.

I can't express the fear, the self-loathing that goes on when this happens. Suddenly all the things you hated about your body (and your life) start coming back. You start getting winded when you walk up stairs. The cute girls that used to smile at you walk the other way. The joy you used to feel about yourself starts to fade in direct proportion to the needle creeping around the scale. It's an experience I hope none of you ever have to face.

I took years of this before I had a breakdown. I decided that I HAD to lose weight. So when searching for a program, I wanted one that helped teach me to live a healthy life, and not just something that would take the pounds off fast.

Weight Watchers frowns on the word diet. The word they toss around is lifestyle change. This is an amazing concept because it helps explain why I've been able to keep the weight off over the years. Instead of adopting a temporary shift in eating, I made a commitment to myself to lose weight slowly and to learn how to take care of my body. I placed a high priority on systems and methods that would let me enjoy food and still lose weight.

Listen, I'm not just saying you can only do Weight Watchers and everything else is wrong, but I think that any change you make to lose weight has to focus first on breaking bad habits and developing lifelong strategies for weight management and last on losing weight quickly. You have to re-educate yourself on what and how to eat, or you're just going to go back.

I'm in the midst of a bit of a plateu with my weight loss, as evidenced by my weight journal. Frankly, I'm pissed at myself. But I'm not giving up. I've felt what giving up feels like, and taking a 2 pound hit to the gut feels a thousand times better than the alternative, giving up and gaining much more.

Haggis: A Meal Only a Mother Could Love

The addition of my brother-in-law Matt to the Conway clan has been one of my family's great joys. He's a great guy. I'm sure you'd like him if you met him. As the curator of the Scottish Tartans Museum, he's also an expert on many things Scottish.

Over the last 5 years, he's infused a love of Scottish culture in all of us. Being a crazed foodie, I've taken a liking to Scottish cuisine. Now I know that "Scottish cuisine" sounds like an oxymoron, but the fact of the matter is I enjoy traditional Scottish foods. Neeps, tatties, brodies, and meat pies are the perfect analogy to represent the hearty, stout, fun-loving Scots! These favorites stick to your ribs and put hair on your chest - food at it's manliest.

The most familiar, and maligned, Scottish dish has to be their beloved haggis. As much a rite of passage and source of pride as a delicacy, the haggis is an unofficial national dish. For the Scottish impaired, a haggis is a sheep's stomach stuffed with barley, offal (animal parts like livers and hearts) and seasonings, that's boiled for hours and served. The Food Network even has a recipe online, if you so dare.

I had my first haggis at the 2002 Stone Mountain Highland Games. Most commercially-sold examples make do without the stomach casing. This haggis was served on a pile of hot chips with some HP sauce drizzled over top. Yummy!

Like with so many obscure foods, the flavor of haggis is hard to describe. All the examples I've had had a strong liver flavor, with a corresponding mushiness and some peppery overtones. I think of it as a cross between braunschwieger and corned beef hash.

I would love to make my own haggis at home, but I confess I don't have any readily available sources for sheep stomachs. I'm also running low on culinary bravery. Besides, I don't know anyone, other than Matt, who'd eat it with me. People are just too picky nowadays, too scared to go outside their culinary comfort zone.

When Jenny and I get in the mood for some haggis at home, we eat Caledonian Kitchen Canned Haggis. They make their haggis here in the US with premium beef. There are even vegetarian varieties (I haven't figured that one out yet) and haggis made from authentic Highland Cattle!

My brother-in-law helps keep us supplied with canned haggis throughout the year. I usually pair it with some Batchelors Mushy Peas, a large dollop of mashed potatoes and a beer (Before all the fellows from Xmarksthescot.com bombard me with e-mails, I know Guinness is Irish beer. I mean no disrespect, but I don't have Tennent's at home!). It also makes a terrific accompaniment to eggs in the morning.

For all you Weight Watchers, 3 oz. of Caledonian Kitchen haggis is 4 points and the mushy peas are 1 point for half a can. To my knowledge, I am the first Weight Watcher in history to calculate the points value for haggis.

Haggis will never be a mainstream favorite amongst us Yanks. And that's fine by me. My love of haggis is a source of pride, a bond I get to share with my fellow kilted men across the pond. Thanks to some readily available products, I can eat it whenever I please.

Caledonian Kitchen canned haggis, HP sauce and mushy peas are all available from the Scottish Tartans Museum gift shop.

Lite Castle Hamburgers

There have been many variations on the mini-hamburger. I have loved these little flavor bombs since I was a kid living in St. Louis, when my mom and I would go to White Castle as a special treat. During my college years, in the Southeast, we routinely devoured Krystal burgers late into the night while studying and goofing around. Then I graduated, reality set in, and I went about losing weight, never eating another Krystal again.

Recently, a number of bloggers have gone about making their own versions of the fast food mini-burger. The best of these recipes (on the blog A Hamburger Today) goes into tremendous detail about how to replicate the commercial version of the miniburger at home. The problem is that while they've done an excellent job replicating the fast food favorite, at 4 points a piece I'm still not willing to make room for them in my daily routine. I've set about to create burgers that taste better than the store-bought versions and are better for you.

One of my favorite episodes of Good Eats is "The Man Food Show". In this episode, Alton Brown goes about making an interesting version of the mini-burger (you can get the recipe here). He rolls out the meat with a rolling pin in a jelly roll pan, seasons it, and folds it in half before cutting out the burgers and cooking them on a griddle. This seemed like the easiest method of producing the patties.

Rolling out the meat seemed daunting at first, but it was remarkably easy once you get to it. My rolling pin wouldn't fit in a jellyroll pan, so I used a pint glass, being as careful as I could to maintain a constant thickness. AB calls for ground chuck in his recipe, but I used 93% lean ground beef to reduce the fat and calories. I seasoned the burgers sparingly with McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning. I say sparingly because a little of this stuff goes a long way! I cut the slab into 16 patties, each 1 Weight Watchers point. I was off to a good start.

As you can see, I skipped the griddle and used a raging hot cast iron skillet instead. I wanted a deeper sear on my burgers, with a little bit of crusty goodness on each patty.

Alton specifies potato rolls for the buns. Bah! I didn't want to short-change my burgers and decided to add a bit of flavor by using Kings Hawaiian Dinner Rolls. They brought a lot of flavor and deliciously soft texture to the burgers. To reduce the bread to meat ratio, I cut the middle third of the rolls out leaving just a 1/2" top and bottom. This also reduced the points of each bun from 2 to 1.

Finally, I topped each burger with some finely chopped and sauteed Vidalia onions, 1/3 of a slice of light American cheese, and a VERY thin layer of light mayo on the bottom bun . Voila! A 3 point miniburger! Ok, so it's not a home run, but oh the flavor...

The King's Hawaiian roll added an incredible richness to the burger. I think all four flavors (burger, cheese, bun and onions) worked in harmony to create a mini-burger of truly superb quality, well worth the investment in time (which really wasn't significant) and effort.

One last word on portion control. Normally, Krystals are ordered by the dozen and consumed in a beast-like fashion. I made these burgers for lunch, so Jenny and I each had 2 and a bit of fruit on the side. No, it's no feast, but if you slow down and savor the burgers, they're quite satisfying!

Lite Castle Hamburgers

1 lb. Lean Ground Beef (7% fat)
1 tbsp. McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning
16 Kings Hawaiian Dinner Rolls, cut as described
above
1 med Vidalia Onion, finely diced
5 1/3 slices 2% Milkfat American Cheese
Light Mayonaise
Olive Oil

Sautee onions in lightly oiled non-stick or cast iron skillet and set
aside. In a hot cast iron skillet, brown meat patties on both sides until deeply seared. Place cheese on top of each patty and allow to melt.

Spread a thin layer of light mayonaise on the bottoms of each roll.
Top with burger patty and onions.

Happy (Belated) National Hot Dog Day!

Unbeknownst to most people, Wednesday was National Hot Dog Day. Strangely, this event seems to have been passed over by the maintream media. Leave it to us bloggers to expose what the anti-linked meat establishment refuses to cover!

I've expounded on my love for hot dogs before in these pages. I didn't realize the subconcious source of this affection until recently, when watching an episode of Iron Chef America on the Food Network. Iron Chef Cat Cora, when asked for the theme of her hamburger-based menu, stated that she was paying homage to "street food." A ha! Street food, the original "fast food"! When she said that, I finally understood the relationship between my peculiar affections for hot dogs, sausages, burgers and sandwiches. Here was cuisine at it's most simple, elemental. No fancy sauces, no temperamental ingredients, just plain good flavor, aroma and texture.

Hot dogs are the classic street food. On my recent trip to Boston, we passed by a sausage vendor on our way around the Freedom Trail. Our guide was kind enough to stop and explain the historical significance of Kings Church downwind from the small cart. My interest in American history evaporated quickly in the savory aroma of a half dozen Italian sausages cooking in the cold Beantown air.

In a hot dog (and I use that term loosely to describe any type of linked meat product served on a bun), you have in one package lunch as God intended. First, a good quality bun provides a base structure as well as added absorption to catch any juices or condiments. Then, a lava-hot frankfurter or sausage provides the main flavor. Hot dogs and sausages should taste like meat, period. Real meat, the kind that rhymes with "leaf" or "dork." Finally, there's the toppings. Personally, I like mine with diced onions, cheese and brown mustard, but I've had everything from good cole slaw to salsa and chili slathered on my dogs. Just no ketchup, period. Ketchup makes everything taste like ketchup. In one portable handful of grub you have carbs, protein, vegetables and seasonings. The perfect meal!

The hot dogs shown above are Hebrew National 97% Fat Free dogs, my choice for low calorie eats. They're made from beef and are only one point each. In fact, the entire plate of dogs is only 8 points total, when using 2% fat cheese (1/2 slice per), light bread, and no sugar added bread and butter relish. I know, they don't look like much, but they really hit the spot when I'm getting a craving, and at 2 points per dog (vs 10-14 for a normal hot dog and bun) I can afford to gorge on beefy goodness whenever I please. I've tried every kind of light hot dog I could get my hands on, and these are the only ones that actually taste like real hot dogs.

Soon, my food grinder attachment will arrive for my stand mixer, and I'll free myself from the chemically-laden commercial sausage landscape. Then, my pursuit of tasty and healthy hot doggery will be limited only by my creativity! I can't wait...

I eat the wurst food...

It seems a little silly to write a whole post on a sandwich you can make in seconds, but sometimes it's the simple things in life that really get your heart pumping and mouth watering.

Take for instance Braunschweiger. Most people regard the liver sausage as a disgusting oddity. I for one think of it as seriously good eats. There's a deliciously thick texture, with an accompanying savory flavor that's far too hard for a geek like me to describe in print.

I was overjoyed to find a light Braunschweiger in my grocery store's packaged meats section. It's made by Jones Dairy Farm. Most full-fat varieties are just so, chocked full of fat and calories. This version is considerably lighter - one tube has 4 servings, each with only 2 points. The flavor is as good as I remember it being, although I admit it's been a while since I've had the full-fat stuff. Texture wise, it's a lot firmer than the creamy pate-like consistency I'm used to. No bother, I just sliced it into discs and layered them on the sandwich.

This is a simple sandwich. It's just the affore-mentioned Braunschweiger with some diced white onions and spicy brown mustard on toasted light multi-grain bread. I tried not to overload the sandwich with flavor. I think when eating Braunschweiger it's important to keep it simple. Cheeses and condiments too easily drown out the complex flavors. It doesn't get much better for 3 points (per sandwich).

This sandwich made an awesome quick dinner. I guess it'd surprise a lot of my friends, but I eat stuff like this for dinner all the time. Many times Jenny and I will come home and just completely disagree about what to make for dinner, or we'll both be so famished that we don't feel like taking the time for a "formal" meal. When we're in these modes it's a lot easier for each of us to make our own dinner and sit down and eat together.

Besides, it's a lot easier for the both of us because Jenny can go ahead and eat while I go outside to take a picture of my sandwich. Such is our life now, since the beginning of NTSC (but that's another post).

The Science of Weighing Yourself

Recently, I was called a "dork" for using Excel to chart the progress of my weight loss. I offer no excuse. I am a dork. The question is why aren't you?

For most of us, especially the ladies in the audience, a successful week could mean losing the smallest fraction of a pound. I've had many weeks where I've only lost or gained 0.2 pounds. To put that into perspective, that's about 3/4 of a stick of butter, by weight. It doesn't seem like much, but 0.2 pounds a week can add up to serious weight loss over the long haul.

As part of my formal education in engineering, I learned to set up experiments to gather data. The key to most experiments lies in 2 factors: accuracy and precision. I won’t bore you with a thesis on engineering, but accuracy reflects how close the measurement is to the true value, and precision reflects how consistently you measure the value between tests. The dartboard analogy is often quoted in engineering school. The key for us is to precisely measure these changes to determine if your diet and lifestyle are working.

What we're looking for is our instantaneous weight (our weight at the time of measure) to be as consistent as possible. Our true weight, the weight of our body minus clothing, food and other artificial sources, is nearly impossible to measure. It’s not important, anyway. Most people don’t understand that in weight loss you don’t care how much you really weigh. Measuring your weight is only an indicator of how well you’re losing weight, not how healthy you are. If your actual weight is 150, but your measurements always says 151, who cares?

Several factors affect your instantaneous weight. They include:

• Time of day
• Food and drink consumed
• Weight of clothing being worn
• Exercise
• Day of the week.
• Quality of your measuring device

I've found that as I go through the day I gain weight. This makes sense, since I eat and drink throughout the day. The period when you sleep is the longest time most people go without food or drink in a normal day. So it makes sense that an 8-12 hour "fast" would make sure most of your food is out of your system. As a corollary, not getting enough sleep monkeys with your body's system and may affect instantaneous weight (as well as true weight, but that's another post)

If I eat a huge meal the night before I weigh in, I'll show a temporary increase in weight. Why? Because of the simple fact that that bolus of food has to work it’s way through my body. Think of it like a giant snake eating a rabbit. That snake's instantaneous weight won't stabilize until the lump passes from the head to the tail (great analogy, no?).

Weight of clothing has quite a substantial effect on your instantaneous weight. Jeans weigh a lot more than workout shorts, and heavy wool sweaters weigh a lot more than t-shirts. Some Weight Watchers I know bring their "uniform" to the meetings and change in the bathroom before weighing in.

In my experience, if I get a ton of exercise before I weigh in, I’ll show a slight drop. Your results may vary.

Common sense dictates that if you weigh in on Friday, you’ll be more consistent than if you weigh in on Monday. This is because most of us have a pretty regular routine throughout the week. I know my weekends can vary wildly with respect to food consumption, sleep and exercise.

Don’t weigh yourself on crappy scales! A scale is a precision device. The scales at my Weight Watchers center are calibrated often to ensure the absolute in accuracy. If you have the means, this is the best way. A close second is to use a doctor’s beam-type scale. These are supremely accurate, if you know how to use them. When I have the room one day, I plan on getting one.

The last unmentioned factor, uh, “un-evacuated waste”, is obvious. In weighing in as in road trips, pee before you go.

So this all adds up to our ideal weight measurement picture: Weigh in naked first thing Friday morning, before breakfast, on a good scale. Don’t eat a huge dinner the night before, and be sure to relieve yourself prior to stepping on.

Obviously, I don’t weigh in naked at Weight Watchers. Often times other things may get in the way of my perfect scenario. Here’s what I do.

I weigh in at the 12:30 meeting on Sunday. This is the time that I can attend, so I have to work around it. I wear almost the same outfit every week. Twice a year, I adjust the outfit to switch from jeans to shorts and vice versa. I don’t eat breakfast or drink more than a little bit of water before I go.

I can’t stress how much all this makes a difference. A few years ago I started going to meetings Tuesday night. My weight varied wildly from week to week because if I had a huge lunch, I’d see a swing. If I had 6 glasses of water at work instead of 10, I’d see a huge drop. All this inconsistency never let me know how I was doing, and I started to blame myself for the results. If I lost 2 pounds, I’d rejoice. If I gained 4, I’d nearly be in tears. It wasn’t until I focused more on precisely measuring my weight that I broke the cycle of joy and depression and broke through my weight plateu.

Little Brown Egg II: Success!

If you're curious about the construction of my little brown egg, please refer to the previous post concerning its construction.

My poor little prototype smoker sat for months, neglected and cold out in the rain (because it's ceramic, I didn't have to worry about rust). I knew I had to get back to it eventually, but so much other stuff got in the way. While scanning Food Blog Central, I came across a blogger who'd recently completed his own smoker. Recalling my orphaned creation on the deck, I immediately ran out to my back porch and exclaimed,"My Son! Forgive me for my neglect!"

Being an especially merciful creature, my smoker instantly forgave me. We began to plan.

"What should I make in you, little brown egg?"

"I think a chicken would be best. It's simple, cheap and only takes a few hours. That way even if you mess it up, you won't have too much invested."

That was a good idea. Knowing the long, dry environment it'd be under, I butterflied the chicken and gave it a short brine (see recipe below). The bird only spent an hour in the brine. Next time, I'll bump it up to 4 and maybe play with the seasonings.

Basic Brine with Seasoning

2 quarts Water
1/2 cup Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt
1 Tbsp. Garlic Powder
1 Tbsp. Black Peppercorns

Combine all ingredients and bring to a boil. Allow to boil for 4 minutes or until you really start to smell the spices come alive. THOUROUGHLY CHILL for several hours, preferably overnight in the fridge.

Place prepared bird in the brine for at least 1, but not more than 6 or so hours. After brining, rinse with cold water and pat dry.

I soaked 4-5 handfuls of hickory chips while brining the bird, so everything was ready to go at about the same time. I put two handfuls of soaked chips in the pie plate and the chicken on the grate, closed up my creation and prepared for my first ever home-smoked meal.

To my delight, the smoker heated up very quickly (I did mention to have a fire extinguisher handy, didn't I?). Once at my indicated 250 degrees, I reduced the power to the hot plate to maintain the temperature. To make matters better, the smoker maintained temperature beautifully. There was little wind, but if there had been, I think that it would have done really well. I might add a gasket between the pots in the future to prevent any leakage out the sides.

I checked the smoker frequently to make sure I wouldn't burn down the building. At one hour I lifted the lid and added more chips. I also brushed a coating of oil on the bird just to help it turn brown. I stuck a probe thermometer in the bird so I wouldn't have to waste precious heat checking the bird for doneness. After all that, it was just a waiting game.

This was my reward. I lifted the lid when the thermometer reached 180 degrees and squealed with joy! (Click here for an animated image of the cooking bird, at 0, 1 and 3 hrs.) The skin looked deliciously brown, with the meat just fall-off-the-bone tender and juicy. Resisting the urge to tear into the chicken caveman style, I wrapped it in foil and let it sit for 15 minutes to rest. It made the whole condo smell like hickory smoked chicken. Glade should stop making those crappy "rose petal" scents and start pumping out the "hickory BBQ chicken" plug-ins pronto.

I pulled all the succulent chicken from the bone and chopped it into fine pieces. I left the skin in, but frankly it didn't add much and I ended up pulling it out, piece by piece. Oh! The flavor! At once assertively smoky and juicy. Jenny and I spent the better part of 10 minutes just oohing and aahing over the aroma and flavor. We had a winner!

The great thing about smoking foods is that, like grilling, there is no extra fat involved. I brushed on oil for color, but that can easily be omitted. Likewise the skin can be removed before chopping. The skin provided valuable basting fat during cooking, so it should be left on until after cooking. So even though my chicken looks like a million bucks, it won't cost you a million calories.

I deliberately didn't put any thick BBQ sauce during cooking for 2 reasons. First, I didn't want to cover up the smokiness. Second, I didn't want to add a ton of points. I prefer vinegar-based sauces in general anyway. They're significantly lighter in flavor than tomato based sauces and considerably lighter in calories (I will say, however, that the chicken did taste excellent with just a little bit of KC Masterpiece Hickory Honey BBQ sauce).

In the future I plan on perfecting my chicken more, with longer brining and more seasoning. If my smoker and my skills prove worthy, I plan on exploring the whole gamut of smoked foods. Pulled pork and brisket are on the list, but smoked fish, turkey, sausages and cheeses are all floating around my brain. Man, I'm going to need a lot more wood...

Update 8/4/05 - The first picture in this post was entered in "Does My Blog Look Good in This? #8", an online food photography contest!

NTSC 2.0 is here!

To all of you who have been with me since the beginning of this blog (and to all of you who are just joining us), I am pleased to announce the launch of NTSC 2.0. It's mostly a style change, but this represents my departure from Blogger's templates and an effort to improve the aesthetics of my blog.

There may be a few bumps along the way as I get the code figured out, and it will take me a while to update old posts to reflect the new style, but please bear with me and I guarantee a better viewing experience.

We're moving on up...

Little Brown Egg I: Condo-Q

Barbecue is one of man's earliest and greatest inventions. The practice of cooking meat slowly over low heat and smoke produces food of incredible taste and texture, with a flavor that is completely irreproducible by any other method. I've often longed for the chance to produce my own slow roasted smoky goodness, but I'm sad to say that I live in a state that prohibits condo owners like me from operating a gas or charcoal smoker. Stupid fire codes!

I've been a student of all things Q for several months now. My inability to produce my own variety of homegrown goodness didn't stop me from spending hours reading the Rec.food.barbeque FAQ, various cook books and magazine articles. It seemed like I was torturing myself and that I'd never be able to live the dream, until one day my culinary hero Alton Brown showed me the way.

In an episode of Good Eats he detailed a method for constructing a condo-sized electric smoker from a hot plate, two large flower pots and a few charcoal grill components. At last, salvation! You see, since there is no open flames the smoker is legal for my domicile, and the small size makes it easy to store on our little back porch!

I immediately set about creating my own smoker. Behold...the Condo-Q!

Ok, so it's no Big Green Egg, but it only cost me about $70 to make. If you break it down, you can see the component parts and how it goes together.

The bottom pot is a 14" terra cotta pot from Wal-Mart. The hot plate inside was an all-metal 1500W unit I bought on E-bay. The Char-Broil grill thermometer and 13.5" smoker grate came from Home Depot. I got an el cheapo steel pie plate (holding the burnt hickory chips) from a local housewares place. The hardest part was finding the shallow pot for the top (I got it at Pike Nursery). The pie plate rests directly on the burner, with the grate going inside the bottom pot. I got really lucky in that the grate fits perfectly inside the pot, resting right on the inside lip where the taper starts!

What's that black box you ask? Well, that's where the weekend tinkering stops and the obsessed engineer starts. The first time I fired the smoker up for a test run the hot plate blew out. You see, the hot plate had a heat-sensitive fuse that blew when the unit overheated in the closed space. Since I was already taking the hot plate apart, I decided to go one step further and relocate the controls outside of the smoker. That way, I'd be able to turn the heat up or down without removing the lid and wasting valuable time! I will rule the world!!

I ordered an enclosure and some high-temperature wire from McMaster-Carr and got a new (replaceable) fuse holder from Radio Shack. I used high temp wire because I didn't want the insulation melting and blowing up the smoker. I mounted the control knob in the enclosure and wired the box up, being careful to replicate the wiring layout that was in the hot plate. I also used a terminal block so that I could fasten and remove the hot plate leads to assemble and disassemble the smoker for storage.

I affectionately call my creation the "Little Brown Egg". I built the egg several months ago, but had to put the project aside to concentrate on other things. If not for another blogger's post, it'd still be there...

How did it turn out? Check out my follow up post where I put the LBE to good use...

Best Fast Food Burger...Ever

There aren't too many foods that I'll break all the low-fat, low-cal rules in order to enjoy. Hamburgers are often times the exception. I think that the sandwich is the ultimate meal (but that's a different post) and hamburgers are near the top of the sandwich food chain. I'm not one for fast food burgers, but I'm a major sucker for In-n-Out.

This chain is foreign to much of us out east, but to people in California and most of the Pacific coast states, these burgers represent fast food at its finest. They've avoided the kind of mass-produced, preservative-laden feel most fast food places have succumbed to. Their fries are made completely fresh from real potatoes and the burgers are still formed by hand to order.

A friend of mine once challenged my preference with a firm but authoritative,"In-n-out sucks. Fatburger is way better." I was aghast. Not being one to let such a serious comment fly, I took the opportunity during my recent trip to California to make my own decision. It was time for NTSC's first ever Caliburger Cage Match!

I know it's totally outside the purpose of this blog to do a comparison of fast food burgers, but part of life is knowing when to eat in moderation. One burger every couple of months won't kill me, and two burgers, some fries and a shake won't derail 4 years of weight loss. Lighten up. All low-fat and no burger makes Jack want to ditch his lifestyle change.

My first stop in my Caliburger challenge was Fatburger in Manhattan Beach (near Los Angeles). I ordered a regular Fatburger with bacon and cheese and a side of Fat Fries. The burger looked impressive - the veggies obviously fresh and the patty impressively bulky and seared brown.

Unfortunately, my hopes for a spiritual burger experience were dashed upon the first bite. The burger walked the walk, but didn't talk the talk. What looked fantastic was in fact pretty dry, with substantially less flavor than I had expected. Don't get me wrong, it was a lot better than the standard burger, just not as good as I'd expected given their commitment to freshness and flavor. The fries were hardy and tasty, but had a slightly mass-market taste, not like real steak fries from a table service joint.

Final score (out of 10): Taste:6 Appearance:8 Fries:7 Overall:6

I completed my comparison with a stop to the In-n-out burger in Mission Valley (near San Diego). I ordered my favorite - a Double Double, Animal Style. In-n-out has a pretty short menu, and in their lingo this is a double chesseburger. The animal style tag, which is not on the menu, calls for adding mustard to the burger patty for extra kick. I know this is a distinctly different burger, but it's my blog and I'll make the cage match rules as I see fit.

I took my order to my table and surveyed my loot. What a mess! This burger didn't look like anything I've ever seen in a burger ad. Surveying the melted cheese oozing out prompted an extended trip to the napkin dispenser. The lettuce was actually a whole piece of real lettuce and the tomato a real slice of tomato, which meant that neither really fit into the burger.

All that burger mojo was working during my first bite. Ahhh...just as I remembered. The burger wasn't greasy, but it had a satisfying moistness that bound all the flavors into one deep burger wave of flavor. This is why I'd eaten a light breakfast and lunch. The fries were very fresh, if a little on the bland side. Not bad.

Final score (out of 10): Taste:10 Appearance:6 Fries:7 Overall:8

And the winner is...In-n-Out Burger! Ok, so I know this isn't an impartial or scientific competition, but again, it's my blog and I'll do what I want to. I have my favorites.

In closing, both places are great. If I'm going to burn points and possibly gain weight for eating a heavy meal, I'm going to eat the best possible food. This means passing up the garden variety McMicrowaveburger in favor of something truly special.

Trial and Error

You know, sometimes the food I cook sucks. It's not always my fault, but most of the time it is. Jenny and I, in our relentless search for new flavors and recipes, sometimes come across an item of such abhorrent flavor that we can't stand to finish it.

Take for instance the salad Jenny's preparing above. We eagerly prepared this recipe out of a cooking magazine, spending $15 on greens in the process. What we gained out of it was $15 in the trash and a profound sense of how much we don't like watercress, at least raw in a salad. Another example is a tofu recipe I prepared. Try as we might, we just couldn't like the flavor or texture of tofu in the dish and we scarfed it down before our taste buds could tell the difference.

Making crappy food is part of learning to cook. It's this element of exploration that makes cooking fun for me. It's a challenge to learn which flavors pair well together and which styles of food suit certain ingredients. And don't get me started about experimenting with new foods found in the market.

"We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery." - Samuel Smiles