Happy Birthday to Me!

In an inspired decision, my co-workers took me out to lunch at Atlanta's most famous BBQ joint. My camera phone only takes so-so pictures, but man are the ribs good!

Chutney is also a verb

Chut-ney (chuht-nee) -

noun, a sauce or relish of East Indian origin, often compounded of both sweet and sour ingredients, such as fruits and herbs, with spices and other seasoning.

verb, the act of turning a large bag full of produce into a small jar full of tangy goo by means of excessive chopping and simmering.

-Random House Dictionary and NTSCBlog.com

This last week was our first company cookout of the year. I was originally going to do some kind of Thai grill-fest, but frankly I didn't have the guts to go there and instead I wussed out and made some Caribbean food. You know - jerk chicken, grilled shrimp, grilled vegetable skewers, black beans, etc.

Now I know this is pretty tame stuff around these parts, so I decided to prepare some kind of killer topping for my otherwise normal grill fare. Until very recently, my condiment-making experience has been confined to the occasional salsa or the random ham-fisted effort to create barbecue sauce from scratch.

However, as a semi-serious cook and foodie I owe it to myself to prepare a batch of the snootiest of condiments - chutney. And if that wasn't highbrow enough I even made mango chutney. Ha-ha! This is the kind of grill mojo that's only classy enough for Bobby Flay, Ina Garten, Mike Chiarello and the like. It's the kind of stuff that you serve to your turtleneck-wearing friends over a glass of pinot noir (not that I have anything against turtlenecks or wine).

In case you didn't get my revised definition, it's pretty shocking how most chutney recipes bend space and time by cramming 20 lbs. of groceries into an amazingly small jar. I followed this recipe from Epicurious.com, except that I doubled the simmering time to 40 minutes because it wasn't getting thicker and because Jenny and I were busy watching The Amazing Race.

The whole recipe is 48 points, but if you smother a piece of chicken with 5 cups of chutney, you're asking for it. A 2-3 tablespoon serving is about 2 points.

Anyway, in the end my meal ended up getting a little confused, culturally. I mean jerk chicken and grilled shrimp scream Caribbean, while the cinnamon, nutmeg and curry powder in the chutney are more Indian sub-continent.

In the end, none of the feasters seemed to care. It just works, and the sweet and spicy flavors dripping over hot grilled jerk chicken made me forget how itchy my turtleneck was. Now if I could just find my wine...

Update 3/8/07 - This photo was entered in this month's Does My Blog Look Good in This photography contest!

Gnocchi ala Batali

Let me cut to the chase. I'm still bitter that the Food Network, in all their infinite wisdom, is canceling Molto Mario. Sure, he doesn't make everyday food but I don't care. I don't care that he uses all kinds of meats I can't find at the market (ask a supermarket fishmonger for his best cuttlefish or fresh sardines and see where that gets you). I don't care that I can't pronounce half the dishes he makes. Heck, I don't even care that he uses enough olive oil to support a small Tuscan village.

Why? Because the man is a culinary god and my favorite TV chef. I could spend all day watching him cook. To see him whip up a three course meal for his buddies is like watching a fine craftsman at work. He's the Food Network equivalent of that crazy guy on PBS who uses all those old tools to make furniture. You know, the one with the hat...

Several months ago, I made the following comment on my post about the current state of the Food Network:

I could rant on an on about how I'm tired of shows like "Easy Food" or "Food Something Made Easy". I want to see stuff that's hard to make! Show me how to roast a whole pig, or how to make a perfect beef wellington! I guess I'm just one of those rare FN viewers who has more than a basic knowledge of cooking and craves more.

You know, after all this time I stick by my comment and then some. Maybe I'm just angry because he's the only Food Network chef I've seen cook tripe (which, curiously, I can get in abundance at my supermarket) and the only one who really knows charcuterie (the highest eschelon of culinary artistry).

So when time came for my annual Valentine's Day ritual, I asked myself "what would Batali do?" and I made my love some real gnocchi.

I've used the store-bought vacuum-packed stuff before but I've always found it lacking. I decided to keep it simple and use a basic gnocchi recipe. To dress it, I improvised a creamy alfredo sauce with peas and prosciutto. It's a little heavy for everyday eating, but fantastic for a special occasion and an entirely appropriate homage to Batali.

The part Iron Chef Batali always glosses over is the two-hour baking time for the potatoes. Plan accordingly. Here are the potatoes peeled thoroughly and riced. I always seem to think my potato ricer is a little excessive until I need it and find that it's absolutely indispensable.

First off, forget about making the gnocchi dough and putting off the forming and boiling for later. That isn't such a good idea as the dough disintegrates with time. You'd be surprised how fast you get a feel for proper dough consistency when you make the recipe twice.

Second, be forewarned that this recipe makes a crapload of gnocchi. In fact, Jenny and I had to get a two-person assembly line going to make sure that everything made it through the hot tub before going all soft on us. I recommend making half a recipe (using 1 small egg for 1 extra-large).

Third, it's critical to not use too much flour. The dough should be slightly sticky. A bench scraper goes a long way towards this goal.

Finally, don't think for one second that all the effort isn't worth it. Pillowy-soft goodness accented by the salty creaminess of the prosciutto and sauce...holy cow, what a meal.

Gnocchi Alfredo with Peas and Prosciutto

1 tablespoon Butter
2 cloves Garlic, thinly sliced
1 cup Heavy Cream
1 pinch Red Pepper Flakes
2 oz. Pecorino Romano, freshly grated
2 oz. Prosciutto, thinly sliced and shredded
1/2 cup Frozen Peas
Fresh Ground Black Pepper, to taste

1/2 recipe Batali Gnocchi, cooked but not tossed in oil
Parsley, chopped
Grated Romano cheese, to taste

Melt butter in a non-stick skillet. Saute the garlic in the butter until it just starts to turn brown. Add the cream and pepper flakes and bring to a boil. Add the cheese and stir until melted. Add the prosciutto and peas and cooked until everything is back up to a boil.

Add the gnocchi and toss to coat. Serve with a little parsley, a little extra cheese and some candlelight. Save room for dessert...

This sauce doesn't reheat well. Best to make just enough for fresh consumption.

Makes 4 servings (enough for a normal meal, maybe a little small for an indulgent special occasion). Each serving is a whopping 14 points. Note that the gnocchi without sauce is 5 points per serving. Pair it with a lighter tomato sauce for a great low-point meal.

Just a quick FYI

Never Trust a Skinny Chef has switched platforms to the new Blogger. What this means for all you non-blogger types is that you may find your RSS feeds have been updated with old posts and e-mail alerts may be alerting you to old content.

Anyway, just wanted you all to know!

Going the Distance - Tailgating the Rolex 24 at Daytona

In auto racing, it's one thing to pilot your machine to the edge for a few hundred miles. It's quite another to do so for 24 continuous hours, to push the limits of mechanical and human endurance.

The situation is no different off the track. As fans in the infield, we spend the 24 hours eating, sleeping and breathing racing. It's this urgency and excitement that had driven me to declare our watching of the Rolex 24 at Daytona as the ultimate time and place to push the limits of what I knew of tailgating and to deliver a day's worth of meals fit for the greatest of champions. Sure, we could have wolfed down a few Pop Tarts, some cold sandwiches and a cup of terrible coffee and called it a day. No, the racing gods demanded more.

While men (and women) with guts of steel were racing, and pacing and plotting the course, I was manning the grill and stove. After this ordeal, I hereby declare that the days of substandard sports-cookery kaput in the Conway household!

My equipment? The Meco Adventurer grill (designed by my company), a Coleman stove and a sweet new camp kitchen. I began simply enough by whipping up a mess 'o bratwursts for dinner. This is a super-simple dish and a real crowd pleaser. I've made over 100 links in the last year!

Here's Craig enjoying a solid breakfast of eggs, refried beans with queso fresco, grilled sausage and a simple homemade salsa (recipe below). After staying up the whole chilly night watching the race, it was a delicious way to start the day. Of course we didn't just drink some swill coffee, we roasted our own Ethiopian beans before leaving and ground them track side in a coffee mill powered by BMW (by way of an inverter).

Salsa Montoya

2 med. Tomatoes
1/2 sm. Red Onion
2 jalapeños
2 cloves Garlic, finely minced
1 sm. handful Cilantro, finely chopped
1/2 Lime

Quarter and remove seeds from both jalapeños. Grill 6 of the 8 quarters until lightly charred, then finely dice all jalapeños, grilled and ungrilled.

Dice tomatoes and onions and combine with jalapeños, garlic, cilantro and the juice of 1/2 lime. Add salt to taste.

Makes 2 cups, 0 points per serving.

It wasn't until after the race had ended that I brought out the big guns - a dinner of jerk chicken and red beans and rice. The jerk chicken is pretty stock (I used an excellent store-bought seasoning mix), but the red beans were an authentic Emeril Lagasse recipe. I modified it to replace the dry beans with canned and halved the recipe for our group. I don't have a picture because we over-stayed our welcome at the track and had to eat a little faster than I'd intended.

Daytona Red Beans and Rice
Closely adapted from this recipe by Emeril Lagasse

1 tablespoon Olive Oil
1/2 cup Onion, diced
1/4 cup Green Pepper, diced
1/4 cup Celery, diced
1/2 teaspoon Salt
1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
1/2 teaspoon Dried Thyme
1 Bay Leaf
1/2 lb. Ham, cubed
1/4 lb. Andouille Sausage, halved and sliced
2 cans Dark Red Kidney Beans
4 cloves Garlic, finely chopped
Water

Heat oil in a pot, and sautée the next six ingredients until translucent and slightly brown. Add ham and sausage and brown. Add remaining ingredients and add enough water to cover the ingredients. Simmer for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Crush half of the beans against the side of the pot and stir. Simmer for another hour, until the whole pot is thickened and gooey, or until the Speedway police come and tell you to pack your stuff up and get the hell out.

Makes 4 servings, approximately 8 points each. Serve over hot white rice (4 points per cup).